I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
