we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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