I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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