I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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