Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
