She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
