I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
