Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
