No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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