just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
