need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
