i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
