so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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