I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Alive.
So much puke
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
