Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
