Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
