Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
