She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
