so that wasnt chicken after all
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
