The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
