I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
