Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
