You're my little dorito
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
