Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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