She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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