I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
