so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
