He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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