We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
