we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
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