a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
