Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
