His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
