I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
