im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
