well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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