did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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