Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
