Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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