Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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