why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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