I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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