I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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