Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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