I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
