Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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