big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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