i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
