Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
