dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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