im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
