I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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