I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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