Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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